Sunday, January 30, 2011

B eautiful

That is only one of the words that I can use to describe my experience this past weekend. After creation, when God said that it was good. This must have been what he meant.

I woke up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning with just 3 hrs of sleep to my credit to haul my ass into nature. I felt like one of those bush explorers who go into the wild seeking adventure.
Was feeling sleepy and groggy until I saw the woman that I love; She has a way of making me smile from ear to ear, and this from a person who hates mornings
So we got into the van and headed off to the Aberdare ranges. I dozed off before we left the city and was asleep most of the way in her arms. By any standards this was the best trip I had ever been on.
After many things that I’d rather not write about (not that they were bad, but that I am lazy) we finally arrived to the part of the park where we were to make our 7 KM hike into nature to a place called karuru falls.

It was tough to say the least, but could have been tougher had I was in the company of she who was by my side. My mind was in heaven, I was in a truly beautiful place with a woman who I would never have thought I’d be with. (B you’re amazing)
Cut a long story short, we arrived at the falls to witness a sight that took my breath away!!!! It was the first time that I was truly left speechless by God’s natural creation (this of course excludes the wonderful woman that has been doing that for quite a while now)
The mist from the waterfall made it hard to see across the valley. Plus I don't own a super megapixel camera.

You had to have been there to experience it!!!

Don't be fooled. This is a long long long way down!!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Say a little prayer

Say a little prayer for those out there who are hurting Say it for all who are going through a tough time
Say a little prayer for the ones who can’t sleep at night, for those haunted by misdeeds of the past, who think of themselves less than the world sees them

I say a little prayer tonight for my angel,
Her, whose wings were clipped,
Who fell down to earth and then kept falling all the way to hell.
Who somehow survived the torment there and made her way back.
Who suffered so much and so long that she forgot who she was, an angel

She’s recovering from the pain and shame and learning how to love herself again.
She means more to me than she knows
she still is my angel

While tonight is a tough night for her I know my father in heaven hears this prayer.
And that he sees her pain and anguish
And He will comfort her more than I ever could.
He will give her sweet sleep tonight.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

fix me

The devil has a way of pulling me back and keeping me down.

I was listening to the song Fix you by Coldplay the lines "When you try yor best, but you don't succeed.....suck in reverse" seem so relevant to me now. it seem as if I have been fighting a battle for so long and every time it seems as if I am winning I fall back down. I get stabbed by my own folly. I shoot myself in the face and find myself back to square one.

And it was better before when the only collateral damage was me, but now there's more at stake. The heart of one who I dearly love. She has more supportive than she realises; to a point she doesn't realise it. But this comes at a cost. Because she cares for me, every time I slip up, she gets hurt. I can't keep doing that to her.

Why do I hurt the one person who's willing to tag along during this dark times of my life? Someone who has brought more sunshine inmy life than there has been in the last 2 years?

Should I give away some material possession I value if I slip up again? Maybe this is the remedy for addiction...Punishment!!!

Dear God, king of my life. I need you to wait on me just a bit longer I'm getting better. thank you for the help you've  sent my way in the form of the woman who currently hold my heart. Give me the strength to battle on.

Lovely woman, sent by God, the one I care for dearly, hold on just a bit more I'll hurt you no more.... you deserve better than this!!! And you'll get it.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011


There was a time towards the end of last year that life was kinda crappy. My employer seemed to have stopped caring for the employees. I was battling my own personal demons. I had broken up with someone dear to me...basically I was all melodramatic over any little bad thing that happened to me or anyone around me.

I carried this dark cloud with me for the best part of three months. until something funny happened. I went on study leave. After exams I return to the office and my first day involved attending some breakfast that my boss had thrown as a suicide on me!!

When I think about it it was the best suicide ever!!! i got to meet an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen in years. I actually took the entire morning off just so that we could hang morning in 2010 ever. 

At this point I must admit that I had been in love with her for the longest time. I hadn't seen her for a long time and had forgotten what it felt like to be with her. 

And it's not just the mushy stuff of butterflies in the stomach, and knees going weak (which I admit is there) but, ti's the one that goes beyond that. Because I am with someone with whom I am uninhibited. who I can almost tell anything and don't have to approach with caution ever!!

Of Late we have been spending more and more time together and I am feeling better. about myself. my work has improved, life's dark cloud is gone.

The sun is brighter, 
the nights are warmer, 
there is a song i my heart.
I carry a smile wherever I go.
I jump at the sound of the phone, praying the text is from her.
And for someone who doesn't text at all, I'm texting!!!!
All this because I have a friend who cares for me.
I feel reborn........ 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a victim of opportunity

So, this morning when I was reading the paper, I saw a story that the government shall begin to limit the number of admissions in National schools for students in private primary schools.
While some applaud the move, I feel that it's simply a populist move that shall create another problem in the name of providing "equal opportunity"

The way I see it is the reason parents take their kids to private schools in the first place is to try and give them the best education they can. Since the introduction of free primary education, the standards in most Public schools have dropped and continue to do so. the government has to invest in more than just providing school lunch. More teachers must be employed, classes built and the curriculum be revised; and that's just the start. Denying deserving students in private schools an opportunity to attend high schools won't solve the problem

On the Flip side it shows that the Minister and his pals are aware that there is a definate problem regarding the education system in the country.

But surely Mr Minister, don't you realise that you are punishing are the kids who work their socks off to ensure that their parents hard earned school fees money doesn't go to waste?

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Reading the bible

This was not originally my resolution. In fact it was borrowed from a friend. Someone who I admire a lot for what they have managed to accomplish in their life through God's grace.
So I have resolved to go through the entire bible for the next year.
Hopefully, apart from breathing I can manage to do something consistently over a long period of time.

Besides my life is a bit of a mess and I need God to come and sort me out vizuri sana!!!