Friday, June 22, 2012

bored stiff... (pun intended)

Of late I have hit a state of boredom. Very little excites me in my daily routine. There are very few things that have me looking forward to them; Talking my sis or Lady M, who happens to be the latest reader of this blog. I sold it to her quite easily... (Story for another day)
With this boredom my mind wanders all over the place; into the gutter out of it, digs a new gutter and wanders in and out of it. According to the lovely Lady M, men think of sex about once every 5 minutes... This is possibly true, given the gutter analogy I have just used, you and I would rather not talk about my sexual fantasies and imaginations.
The thing that has been most on my mind is the state I find myself in. I cannot call myself unhappy. I am happy, but I sat and reflected on what plans I had for my life and how far I have come to achieving them and realised I have not gone really far at all. I possibly hit period of depression and walked around with a cloud hanging over my head for a few hours. So, I decided to do the few things that I know are bound to lift my spirits and was done with the sadness of life bit.
I have however not run away from the issue, just from the sadness. One thing I realised however is that while I may feel that I am still moving along life at 20Km/hr I have moved along quite a bit in some things... I have the most amazing family and friends without whom my life would crumble and I still have a link with God. It is not a strong one, but it is existent.
I have not sold my soul for money or power as I have seen some of my friends do. I can walk down the street and be proud of who I am.
The most important thing that I realise is that I am a different person than I was 5 years ago. Things that I considered must haves and important are not as important as they used to be.
I realise that the people around me are more important than material the things I own. I would rather go skint making the people close to me happy and have them feel like the goodness that I see in each and every one of them every day.I would rather be with these people who accept my current banged up and damaged version than try to work my way to impress those who would not give me a second look if I did not fit their definition of success.

Writing this post has set a good tone for the weekend which I shall thoroughly Enjoy.... To all the worries and problems in my life I use the not so famous quote by Pain..."Shinra Tensei!!!"

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

that title I forgot

I have been writing this post for the last few weeks. I never put a word on paper or electronic ink, I've been writing it in my head. As I walk around, talk to people sometimes when I zoned out... I thought of the words I wanted to put down.

I have come to a place where I have decided to get past the shackles that have held me back for a while. I realise the mountain that lies before me and the effort that it will take to get over it. It is going to be long journey, but one which I must take to live life to its fullest.

I have forgotten how I wanted to put down the words rather than what I really wanted to say. I shall return soon.