Tuesday, September 25, 2012

too many women part 2

The title of this blog is all wrong. It suggests that there are too many women in my life in a negative sense.
I have a problem in that I have gotten myself mixed up with two different women who I both care deeply about; B and Lady M. Keeping along this path would have ended up hurting either one of them both and making them hate me.

And I cannot bring any more pain in their lives. I know them and what they have gone through and continued going through.

I have made what is the most difficult decision ever regarding these women in my life. And by far the most painful. To decide to step away from the company of those that you care very deeply about is by no means easy. I did not know that it would hurt this much. I cannot concentrate on my work at all. I cannot even eat anything. Right now I wish I could undo the last 2 hours of my life just so that those tears that I have brought would never be shed, but that would be wrong. Better that they be shed now rather than be done later and completely tear someone's heart out.

I have been suffering with the weight of this for a long time, but it had to be done.I should never have allowed things to get to this point. I should never have done this, I messed up and two people I love are hurting and it is all my fault.I am to blame. Not my B not Lady M.

If there is a time I really need God to come through it is now.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

too many women part 1

It has been quite a while since I looked at this blog leave alone wrote down a post of any kind . This is possibly because I have been quite busy working at building this lovely nation called Kenya.

In the time I have been away life has also gotten quite complicated. Lady M and I had a break of sorts, but it seems as if we are back. She does not seem to know what she wants, so I am leaving her to make up her mind. Take this for instance; The other day, she saw me with another lady and decided to catch feelings and leave the venue like she had been hurt. Then I met her briefly the very next day and she wanted to hang out for an extended period. She seems to want me there, but not want me. Decisions need to me made

Lady M seems to be the tip of the iceberg. The number of women in my life have exploded quite a bit leaving me quite confused. First they are all wonderful women. I like them all, however each one has this one small thing or the other that goes against them. There are character differences, which I cannot take, but in two cases in particular it is more of the situations that they find themselves in that would make me and them not happen.

Being the long winded person that I am, I would love to get into details on what is actually going on, but there is a good football game on the Telly and the half time break is over. So I shall put this post up as part 1 and follow up with a part 2 as a conclusion. Back to football...